The Asylum
by Chi Takashi
Summary: The Elders of every shinobi village have merged together and have now started to plot!They have began by locking away the akatsuki in and asylum. But are they going to sit back and take it? Read and find out! M for bad language, sex, and yaoi
1. Chapter 1

So . . uuh yeah I'm having trouble with my other main story and i randomly got this idea one night and couldn't stop writting.*bits lip* I hopes my humor doesn't sound to dry heh heh

Disclaimer:Nah I wish I did but I don't own Naruto...but i do own Chi Takashi and my friend owns Azumi Takahashi

"Speaking"

_'Thoughts'_

_Memories/flashbacks/letters_

_**'Mental**** connection'**_

Enjoy and PLEASE read and review=]

* * *

Chapter 1- Deidara's Morning

Deidara sat staring in the middle of the stark white padded walls of his cell. He could hear mad laughter echoing up the hall from down stairs.

"HAHA!THAT'S THE FUCKEN SHIT!" the blond rolled his eyes, Hidan was getting his "daily dose" from his ritual.

_'He enjoys that WAY to much, un!' _Deidara thought to himself. By God! There was nothing for to do! He tried to lift his artistic hands out of his lap, _'Wish they'd take these damn things off, un!' _he swung the heavy solid metal ball hand cuffs, twisting his torso around.

Deidara could feel the pills he was force to take last night. The fucken blue haired bitch practically raped his throat when she gave them to him. They tasted like FUCKEN SHIT! why doesn't she choke them down! He let out a sigh and let his body fall flat on the ground. He let out a long groan. They did the same damn thing day in and day out! he was starting to forget what freedom was, what his friends (except Konan and Pein)looked like.

"IT'S FUCKEN COLD! HEH HEH the pain." Deidara cocked his eyebrow at the new voice he heard coming form the same level as Hidan.

_'I wonder who that is . . .' _he thought. Deidara closed his electric blue eyes trying to remember the map out of the floor below. "Cold . . .she's on the masochist level and it's cold . . .SHE MUST BE A PYRO!" he yelled out sitting up excitedly. _'HOLY SHIT WAS THAT MY VOICE!' _he wanted to cover his ears. It sounded horse, under used and foreign to him. He listened for any other noises. Heard fighting going on form the new voice.

"I REALLY don't think a freezer is good place for pyros." she had a smartass tone. Deidara liked her already.

"That's the point!" Konan laughed. He glared at the front wall of his room that lead out of his room, picturing Konan being blown to bits. Now there was something he'd been aching to do again.

"YOU KNOW WHAT BITCH!" the voice said yelled. That's a girl's voice, ne? "EAT FIRE!" yup female. He felt he ground beneath his room heat up.

_'DAMN,UN!' _His eyes grew REALLY liked this girl. To bad he was gay and would most likely never see this girl.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" Hidan yelled. Deidara started smirking. He heard foot steps running up the hall followed by what he could on guess was destruction. He wanted to be part of the fun.

"AZUMI TAKAHASHI!" Pein's voice echoed trough the whole asylum. A chorus of "OOOOOH SHIT"'s where heard.

"Now she's in for it!" Kisame's voice rumbled from down below followed by his loud laughter

"Not even ten fucken minutes and the bitch pisses off carrot top!" Hidan added.

"TAKAHASHI!" Sasori's voice rang out next.

"YEAH!" the girl yelled back. Her voice sounded different "NOM NOM NOM!"

"NO EATTING CAKE!" Konan interrupted Sasori-danna and Azumi's yelling match/conversation.

"THE FUCK! NO CAKE!THATS MESSE UP!" she yelled back followed by a loud crash.

"WHO DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!" Kakuzu yelled. Deidara didn't understand why rag doll man cared anymore. They had been packed away in this place for good. Deidara snorted, folding his legs under himself. He recalled the day he and Sasori-danna had been sentenced.

They-the Akatsuki- had all been deemed to dangerous for normal top security prison. So they where being sent to the 5 Nations Maximum Security Insane Asylum. It's been three years since then. Hidan, Kakuzu and Kisame where captured a few months before himself a Sasori-danna. It didn't amaze them in the least that the Uchiha's where still out there.

Deidara huffed and curled up his entombed hands on themselves. He felt the rough stitches that held his mouths shut. They hurt like hell! He suddenly noticed something was off. The Akatsuki members where all sent to a separate building strictly for them. so who was this Azumi girl?

"OI SASORI! HOW'S IT GOING?" the girls voice made it's way to the blonds ears again.

"Umm I'm in a gray dark room with my limbs dismantled from me How do you think it's going?"

"Uuh i don't think."

"WELL THIS EXPLAINS SO FUCKEN MUCH!" Hidan roared gaining laughter from Kisame.

"Fuck you Jashin-boy!" she yelled.

"Ah just like old times." whined Pein.

_'Old times?'_ Deidara felt left out. Everyone seemed to know this girl but him!

"Where is Un!-boy?" Azumi asked everyone. Deidara's eyes widened.

"GAARA'S GIRL!" he yelled, "AZUMI,UN!"

"YO, HOMIE WHAT'S CRACK'IN!" She yelled back, slightly miffed that he refereed to her the way he did. But who was she kidding she and Gaara had been together for a long time now so yeah she was his girl, but she was the pimp in the relationship. The redhead was quick to learn that. Deidara was ecstatic. Finally life would become fun again! "Hey, Azumi where's your other half, un?"

"She was always best at hide-and-go-seek." replied earning grunts of agreement from everyone, "She and her family are still hiding."

_'Damn Uciha's, being so damn great.' _Everyone of the guys thought.

"Could you just get in the fucken freezer now!" Pein said. A door slammed hard and loudly.

"I CAN BEND ALL EMEMENTS" Azumi reminded everyone, "I'll get out of here in no time!"

"If only that was water or metal." Konan's sickly sweet voice teased.

"The hell are you talking about, slut?" Azumi growled back concentrating on the ice box that was now home for her.

"That room is made up of nitrogen and a special non metal just for you, Azumi." Pein explained

"ARE YOU FUCKEN KIDDING ME!" She yelled.

"No DUH!" Konan laughed.

"BITCH **WHEN** I GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!OOH JUST YOU WAIT!" Azumi threatened.

Deidara tensed up in his room. He could feel the killing intentions even from his room. Oh yes with Azumi here things would get much, much more lively. Deidara was happy about this. Maybe Chi and those damn Uchiha's would get caught soon!

_'Now that would be a party, un!' _the blond crawled over to the far right hand corner of his room. He sat smirking in the white padded room, _'What and eventful morning, un. And it's not even breakfast yet! un' _Life suddenly felt a little better. Well as good as it could get for the explosive artist who was life sentenced to the asylum with his friends.


	2. Chapter 2

So yeah . . NEXT CHAPTER!WOOOTZ!This chapter to me a long time to write but with the EPIC help of my other half and mental head bangs to the wall this was put to paper! Uh i forgot to mention the since my other half(I'm A Dinosaur RAWR and Stuff) is going away and i have less patience then Sasori this story is currently un-bated. Sorry for all the mistakes.

Disclaimer:Itachi is dead. . .we all know i don't own Naruto because of that

"Speaking"

_'Thoughts'_

_Memories/flashbacks/letters_

_**'Mental**** connection'**_

Enjoy and PLEASE read and review=]

* * *

Chapter 2- Sasori's Afternoon

Azumi Takahashi, a fellow Suna, was in a freezer just a floor below his and Deidara's.

_'I wonder how she got caught.' _he thought as a funny scene of cake, Tobi, and a very large inflatable basket ball popped in his head. He chuckled to himself proceed to do what he did now a days: glare at his dismembered legs and arms.

Their breakfast tasted like shit, normality to the strongest power, but at least in a little more time he'd get dango! His and Deidara's favorite food. Sasorisighed. The few joys left in his life. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the annoying as hell blinking red light that meant the monitoring camera was up and running. He was propped up against the corner where his army-cot-like bed was pushed up against the gray stone walls. There was a desk with a small lamp right under the camera. Seeing as Sasori was only allowed his arms at meal times or some special reasons the desk was left completely un-used. Life had become rather pointless since they had been sent here. But for some reason they all kept existing everyday. Maybe Kami was fucking with them.

"AZUMI!WHY THE FUCK DID THEY CETCH YOU AND NOT THE OTHER BITCH TO?" Hidan asked. Sasori couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"I ALREADY ANWSERED THAT QUESTION!" she yelled back. Azumi seemed intent on getting the hell out of here. Something they really hadn't tried to do.

Half the day had gone by and Azumi had already destroyed much of the facility. Sasori could her singing a song called Whatda ya want from me by Adam Lambert loudly while trying to used the elements to bust out of her room. frankly Sasori wished they had all been sent to prison. But he bet the Council of old bats knew they'd suffer here. and that's what they wanted Sasori whined, banging his head repeatedly against the wall. He was debating whether or not he should break it open. He didn't. To much waiting to get it fixed. That's if the Council deemed it worthy of being fixed at all. Which he highly doubted. He bet they would see it as a improvement. He wonder how fast all of them here in the asylum would fade from thought and forgotten by the world Probably as soon as the last of the Akatsuki was put away.

"OI PEIN CAN I GET SOME RAMEN!" Azumi yelled out suddenly. Sasori laughed at her request.

_'Food that doesn't taste like shit?' _he thought, _'like she'll get that.' _

The expected "NO!" from Konan followed.

"NO ONE FUCKEN AKED YOU, SLUT!" Azumicountered," Fine, I'll get it myself!" she announced. Series of snorts and scoffs answered her statement. Everyone fell silent when they heard nothing from Azumi.

Ching, ching . . .ching. This noise continued for several minutes. No one dared to speak. They just listened.

_'What the hell?' _Sasori thought, _'What could that be?' _Pein and Konan's foot steps resounded through the silent Asylum as they retreated to their room. They didn't expect Azumi to get out anytime soon.

"TIMBER!" Azumi yelled after another ten minutes passed. A loud crash accompanied the her word.

"WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU JUST STAY!" Konan screamed

"RAMEN!" Azumi yelled. Sasori cracked up, almost falling off his bed. This was the most fun he had, had in ages.

"Maybe we can finally bust out of here!" Sasori let his hopeful words linger in the empty air. Then he really did fall off his bed laughing at the falseness of his words.

"HAHA I GOT RAMEN!" Azumi yelled happily

"PEIN SHE FOUND THE STASH!" Konan yelled. The sound of bodies colliding in a tackle triggered growls from both women.

"YOU EVIL SLUT! YOU SPILLED THE RAMEN!" Azumi yelled.

"SERVES YOU RIGHT, BITCH!" Konan screeched back. A loud crash at the end of the hall and the sound of crumbling bricks of the thick wall was answer to Konan's statement .

"REALLY AZUMI!" Pein yelled

"No just kidding." She laughed, "Man I love being an element bender!" Sasori could hear the smirk in her voice.

"Get back in your damn room!" Pein said.

"Make me, pin-cushion!" Azumi was SO in for. Sasori bit his lip to keep from laughing.

'So this is what Gaara has to deal with." he whispered smirking.

"Good thing we have another room for you here." Pein said

"FUCK!" Azumi yelled.

"Tough luck, bitch." Hidan offered as comfort.

"Welcome to the Asylum!" Sasori yelled when they heard the door of Azumi's new cell shut.

"I'm ganna get out of here soon!" Azumi muttered through the wall, "Just you wait."

Sasori shook his head. He wondered if Gaara knew that she had been sent here. Probably not.

"Shit!" Sasori said," Azumi! is Konan dead?" Sasori didn't really care for the woman but if she was dead then he wouldn't get his dango and he certainly couldn't have that.

"I HOPE!" Azumi, Deidara and Hidan answered.

"NO!" Pein yelled to properly answer the puppet's question.

"DAMNIT!" Everyone responded

_'Well at leas we still get dango.' _He thought.

"Sasori-danna, un." Deidara called out

"Yeah?"

"You" don't think Pein wont give us any dango, ne? un" Sasori's face softened at the sound of Deidara's voice. He missed seeing the brat's face.

"Let's hope not, Gaki." he said. Sasori looked around his small room. His eyes lingered on his arms and legs,

_'Hell if Azumi's getting out I'm putting up a fight to!' _he thought smirking at the monitor camera, _'Life is going to get crazy.'_


	3. Chapter 3

So if you haven't picked up on what I am attempting to do all of these events are happening on the same day starting from moring going till night(next chapter is night time) I guess i should have said that in the first chapter heh heh*smacks head* any way there is a line from the song "Like it Rough" by Lady Gaga . .when i wrote this i was was listing to my ipod it fit the moment heh.

"Speaking"

_'Thoughts'_

_Memories/flashbacks/letters_

_**'Mental**** connection'**_

Enjoy and PLEASE read and review=]

* * *

Chapter 3- Gaara's Evening

*Kazekage Office*

"WHAT!" Gaara slammed his fist in to his desk. Kankuro and the two other Suna shinobi backed away from their pissed leader, "How did this happen!" Gaara growled looking up from his desk, "WHOlet this happen!**" **he hisses at them

"It was the Elders!" one ninja sputtered. Gaara's hands curled tighter drawing blood.

"Brother," Kankuro stepped forward a bit, "It's true. Ever since all the Elders of the villages have been working together they've been bent on capturing the Akatsuki." A light breeze flowed in through the tall windows of the office. A contradiction of the heavy silence.

"My Lord we got this scroll." the second ninja whispered handing it to Kankuro who placed it in front of Gaara. The light brown seal of the Elders stared up at the redhead. He sat down and tried to calm himself.

"Kankuro inform Temari that I shall be traveling to the Elders city Tomorrow." he said in a quite voice Kankuro's eyes widened. Gaara picked up the scroll from the Elders and began opening it and didn't look up at his brother to see the worried face.

"Fine. But you know she's not going to be happy. She's stressing enough over the wedding." he said before leaving the room with the other two ninja.

Shikamru Nara had finally proposed to their sister. Kankuro didn't want his sister to have to worry about anymore then she already had to but Azumi meant everything to Gaara. Kankuro stopped outside the video game room and stared out the long window to the village below.

"Damn I need a girlfriend." he muttered before going off to play Nazi Zombies. Temari was currently in Konoha planning her wedding with Mrs. Nara so he had a little bit of time before he had to send word to her.

"Heh heh might as well practice." Kankuro smirked to himself as the game loaded. He was determined to beat Azumi at this game! And this was the perfect time to get a better hand on the game. He knew Gaara was going to break Azumi out of the Asylum at all costs. It really didn't surprise him that she was sent there. Actually he was waiting for it.

Don't get him wrong, he loved Azumi, but it was just a matter of time before her pyromaniac, A.D.H.D., scizo mentalness caught up with her. Plus she was friends with the Akatsuki so that just added to it.

"Wander if Chi was caught." he mused out loud while blowing the head off another zombie, "YEAH SUCK IT, BITCH!" he yelled proudly. He was doing pretty damn good! Maybe he'll get lucky and beat Azumi when she got back

* * *

Gaara angrily sipped his tea, burning his tongue, "Damnit." he said scrapping his teeth over the burnt muscle. Then he reached over and grabbed a star fruit slice from the fruit plate one of his maids brought up. he popped it in to his mouth and began reading the scroll from the old ass cracks. He got half way through the letter and continuously popped fruit in his mouth till he bit his tongue...hard.

"FUCK!" he yelled angrily at the letter and the fact that he injured his tongue. Again! He, with great effort not to through it, put the scroll down and leaned back in his chair.

"She's not even IN the Akatsuki." he muttered. Gaara's eyes slide closed and he began rubbing his temples. He let out a sigh and walked to a window behind him. The sun was beginning to set. Gaara loved the way Suna looked at this time of the day. He stood admiring the village when he spotted a bird from Konoha flying toward him. As it got closer Gaara stuck his arm out to allow it to land. He took the scroll and it flew off to it's home. Gaara smiled when he saw who it was from. He walked back to his desk and shook his head at the Elder scroll.

"Azumi, you got me wondering why I like it rough." he sighed pushing the scroll aside. He sat down and took a sip of his now cold tea.

_'Uuh ew !I'll have to send for a fresh pot.' _he thought as he opened the new scroll.

_Dear Sandy, _

_I heard about Azumi. (From Chi.) I'll be glad to help get her back! Just say the word and I will be there._

_love Your bro,_

_Naruto._

Gaara smirked at the letter, _'"Sandy." Nice.' _He re-read the letter. He missed his brother, "One of these days I'm going to rescue you." he whispered to the full moon. It pissed him off that most of the non-shinobi villages still treated him like shit. Gaara went over the letter a third time and notice the words in prentices.

_'Chi is still out there!' _he thought. He frowned, _'Why didn't she protect Azumi!', _he gritted his teeth, _'Some best friend.' _Gaara reached across his desk for a writing instrument and some paper.

_Dear Fire,_

_Thank you for caring. I'll be departing for the Elders City tomorrow morning. Chi told you? I assume she and her family are still free then. Brother, if you ever wish to visit Suna your always welcome to._

_Love Your Brother,_

_Gaara._

He sealed the message with the Kazekage seal and summoned a bird.

* * *

Kankuro had managed to play a good six hours of nothing but first person shooter games. He was sure he'd kick Azumi's ass now! WOOTZ for him! He was putting in another one of the games when one of the night maids came to the door.

"Lord Kazekage would like to know if have sent the message to Temari-sama yet." she said timid voice.

_'SHIT!' _Kankuro thought freezing. The piece of cake that between his teeth fell to the floor.

"Uuuh yeah! Of course!" he laughed nervously quickly pausing his game and running past the maid. She smirked and continued with the new tray of tea to Gaara's office.

"Shit! How'd I forget! They're BOTH going to kill me now!" he said racing to toward the bird coups, "Oh crap, shit, fuck!" he said out loud, "Why do I always get in trouble!" He quickly jotted down a message to his sister and found the fastest bird there. But it wasn't that fast. It was a fairly old bird, "NANI!" he exclaimed seeing it, "Beatle is the only" one left!" Beatle went about twenty miles per hour, "Damnit!" he said attaching the small scroll to the aged bird. He let out a sigh when he saw the bird-slowly-fly away. He banged his head on the wall.

"Little late Nii-san," Gaara said leaning in the door way. Kankuro tensed up and slowly turned around to face his younger brother.

"Well you see . . .THE GAMES ARE SO ADDICTING!" he yelled, "I HAVE TO BEAT AZUMI! I REFRUSE TO LOSE TO HER!" Gaara tried to keep a straight face when he saw Kankuro spazzing. He walked away and fell over laughing. Leaving Kankuro listening. Kankuro walked out in to the hall with a sweat drop, staring at his gasping brother.

"I'm going to bed." he said annoyed. Gaara tried to speak but was laughing to hard to.

"YOU GET BE BY A GIRL!" he managed to get out before Kankuro turned to corner.

"I've **got** to find those videos of last years sakura viewings!" Kankuro mumbled, "Nothing like seeing a drunk Gaara." he snickered to himself thinking about it and smirked, "Oh yes sweet revenge!"


	4. Chapter 4

And this chapter shows why i had to make this story M rated heh my friends and i are pervs we can't help it*shrugs*Yes lots of sex in her more to come and *goes fangirl*YAOI!Oh there will be more of that in this story. Soooo if you don't likes don't reads.(I have a major thing for Itachi and Uchihas sorry for putting them in so often) ADAM LAMBERT ROCKS!

"Speaking"

_'Thoughts'_

_Memories/flashbacks/letters_

_**'Mental**** connection'**_

Enjoy and PLEASE read and review=]

* * *

Chapter 4- Uchiha Family's Night*Uchiha Compound*

"How long have they been at it?" Sasuke whispered to Madara. They where sitting outside Itachi and Chi's bedroom. the song "Fever" by Adam Lambert was blaring out of the room along with moans.

"All day." Madara answered.

"Fuck-o-holics!" Sasuke snapped. The song changed to "If I had You." by Adam Lambert.

"Your one to talk.", Madara smirked causing thing the younger to blush.

"I'm not as bad as those two!" he snapped again. Another Adam Lambert song began to play as Sasuke stormed off to his room, "PLAY SOMEONE ELSE DAMNIT!" He yelled slamming the door.

Madara smirked after the boy and took a sip of his jasmine tea. He had to hand it to Chi, she picked out good tea. He got up as he heard the pair of lovers come for the umpteenth time that day. Itachi was working Chi hard. They had been apart for some time and Chi had neglected him-out of the shame she felt-since she lost the ring he gave her. Well she found it this morning. CELEBRATION!

Madara walked outside to the upper veranda and stared at the starry sky. He frowned thinking about his slight dilemma: His subordinates where all locked away in a mental institution. All because of the damned councils merged. Madara could almost guarantee this was all that kisama Danzo's fault. Yes, because Danzo caused most of the problems in the shinobi world. Now they where hiding in their own home. Everyone knew Chi was living in the compound but this would be the last place anyone would look of the other Uchihas.

Since the capture of Kakuzu, Hidan, and Kisame the Uchiha's had been plotting a away to break everyone out. Pein and Konan slipped themselves in as wardens. They where to play that part till Madara said other wise.

He heard one of the lower doors to the court yard open and Sasuke emerge. He had a towel under his arm and underwear on. He was moving toward the hot springs had put in while the Uchiha males had been away. She had also added to the garden and put in a hidden stereo system. Madara watched the younger Uchiha hit the button for the stereo. The song "Garden In My Room" by Merril Bainbridge started to play; Sasuke stripped off his red briefs and slipped in to the water.

Sasuke let his eyes slide shut, the warmth of the water, and the music take him away. He missed Naruto dearly. And the past few years had been like psychological rehab for him. After the great battle between him and Itachi, finding out the truth, Chi almost killing him, and then finding out Itachi had some how been brought back from the dead . . .yeah a lot had happened. but the rest of the world thought his nii-san dead, and him still a insane killer searching for power. He kept tabs on Naruto because as much as he tried to deny it he was in love with the blond. But he couldn't touch him. At least not yet. a smirk graced the raven's lips at the thought but a blush soon took over when he realized he was hard as hell! he knew Madara was watching and refused to touch himself with him watching. He already had Chi giggling at his door. Fucken Yaoi fan girl!

Madara smirked when he noticed Sasuke secretly peak up at him. he knew Sasuke wanted him gone. He had a better plan. He walked back in to the house passing Chi who was wrapped in a towel. She was on the way to the shower. Chi noticed the mischief painted on the older man's face.

_'Oh I HAVE to see this!'_ she thought feeling Itachi's toned arms wrap around her slim waist from behind.

"What are you thinking my tenshi?" he asked kissing her head. Their long black hair both had come lose during their days "actives". Itachi breathed in the sent of her hair while she relished the silken feeling of his on her shoulders.

"I'm thinking," she turned around in his arms, almost losing her towel, "we should go shower." Itachi smirked.

"Okay." he said taking Chi's plump lips in a passionate kiss. Madara walked y again, only as a certain blue eyed blond. He paused smirking at the two dark lovers in the hallway. The pair looked so similar. They where practically mirror images of each other. Both tall, long hair, powerful and strong. Madara surrounded himself with people like that. Even Azumi-Chi's "other half" as lots of people called them-she was exceptionally power aside from her crack headness. He padded over to the couple still smirking.

"Get a room." he whispered. The two broke their kiss. Both had their Sharingan activated.

"It's my house." Chi teased him then noticed her towel had dropped. Her face turned tomato red, she quickly grabbed it to hide herself. Madara fell over laughing.

"What an intoxicating sight, Chi, my dear." he laughed. Itachi frowned, stepping between Chi and Madara.

"Yes, one only for me." he said in a deadly quite tone.

"of course.", Madara said winking at them then disappearing outside.

Chi growled after him. Itachi held her back as she tried to go after him, "One punch Ita'! Just one!" Itachi shook his head.

"No, tenshi." he said calmly. She turned around walking toward the bathroom but Itachi stopped her as she passed a window. The song "Dangerous" by My American Heart stared to play, "Give me attention, give me time." he sang along with the song. He had her pinned up against the wall. The moon reflected off their skin. Itachi started kissing his way down her neck, biting in the crook of it making Chi moan. He kept going letting his hands lightly trail down her sides causing her to shudder in pleasure. Itachi tossed the towels aside allowing him better access. He moved down to her large breasts, Chi let out another moan.

"Itachi. . .", she breathed. Itachi took one nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Chi laced her hands in to his soft hair. He was going to make his angel feel spectacular tonight. Itachi let one hand slip to the her back entrance and slide a finger in. She let out a gasp.

"Not . . .not. . .," she tried to say but was silenced but Itachi kissing her heatedly. She let his tongue in, loving the sweet minty taste of his mouth. Itachi moved across her tight stomach, down to her entrance. He licked around it then tugged on Chi's right arm indicating her wanted her to slide down. She complied moving across the cool wall. She spread her legs for him. He pulled her close allowing small amounts of chakra to form on his finger tips. he ran his hands over her body, lingering on her sweet spots making Chi moan out his name. Itachi lifted one of her legs on to his shoulder and slide a finger in her opening. he moved his finger around adding another finding her g-spot.

"Ah . . .I-ITACHI!", she yelled when she felt the charka dipped finger touch it. Itachi ran his other hand through her hair. Chi looked at him with pleading eyes. she pushed off the ground suddenly lying Itachi on his back. She smirked at his surprise. He blinked and smirked back.

"You really thought I'd let you be seme all night?"

* * *

Madara carried a towel to the edge of the water and placed it next to Sasuke's. He fought back a laugh when he saw Sasuke tense up. Madara silently entered the water swimming up to Sasuke. He did his best to look like a lustful Naruto.

"Hey Sasuke could . . .could you look at me?" Madara asking in Naruto's voice. Sasuke knew it was Madara but he still reacted to hearing the voice. His head turned to see a slightly blushing Naruto. he couldn't believe how well Madara had done.

"What?" he asked in a dead tone. His heart jumped when he saw "Naruto's" blue eyes sadden a bit.

"Come on Sasuke. What's wrong?" a tan hand lifted out of the water reaching for Sasuke's face. Sasuke backed away. Hurt crossed "Naruto's" face. '

"Sasuke," he whispered.

"Madara go torment some one else!" Sasuke snapped looking at the moon. He hated how much he wanted the Naruto imposter right now. Madara had gotten EVERYTHING! Every detail on the Kyuubi kid right.

"Sasuke please don't push me away.", "Naruto" pouted drifting closer to him. "Naruto" backed Sasuke up against the spring's wall and wrapped his legs around Sasuke's hips. Sasuke wanted to push Madara away but his lust for Naruto got the best of him. He leaned in and kissed the full lips of "Naruto".

_'So good!'_ Sasuke thought losing himself in the kiss.

_'Poor kid' _Madara smirked in to the kiss, _'This night should help everyone think clearly in the morning. We have lots of planning to do._' Sasuke's hands started to roam the others body, _'A night of release'_


	5. Chapter 5

So this is chapter FIVE!*half hearted*WHOOTZ! anyway this toook a LONG time to type cause my dad is taken over the only puter i can upload this to so anyway . . .

Disclaimer:really?if i did own Naruto i wouldn't be posten these stories. Chi is mine and Azumi is meh best friend's

"Speaking"

_'Thoughts'_

_Memories/flashbacks/letters_

_**'Mental**** connection'**_

Enjoy and PLEASE read and review=]

* * *

Chapter 5- Hidan's Wake Up Call

*Asylum*

Hidan stretched his limbs as best he could with them bound together. He frowned at them. he couldn't wait to kick some ass and get the fuck out of this place.

"Damn what is that bitch doing?" he grumbled, groggy from sleep. Azumi had been singing Adam Lambert songs all night! To counter her Hidan started singing "Damn Disease" by Nickelback.-But everyone could tell he had added more curses to it.-

"DUDE TO MUCH TO EARLY!" Kisame yelled from a level lower then him.

"DEAL WITH IS FISH-FUCKEN-BOY!" Hidan yelled back

"RAWR!" Azumi yelled out randomly, "I'M A DINOSOUR!" Sweat drops formed on everyone's' heads.

"YOU'RE A FUCKEN SPAZZ BITCH!" Hidan yelled.

"Can't you guys SHUT THE HELL UP!" Konan snapped over the loud speaker.

"NO! YOU BITCH!",everyone yelled back.

"THAT'S IT! EDICATIONAL TELEVISION!"

"NOOOOOOO!" everyone screamed. Konan laughed evilly.

"ONI!", Sasori yelled out. Not even Hidan could take that kind of torment! Hidan looked around his white padded room. There where blood stains in the middle of the room from where he was allowed to perform his morning prayers to Jashin-sama. The whole asylum was silent except for the bangs and humming emanating from Azumi's room.

The sound of Pein and Konan's bedroom door opening resounded. the feeling of resentment and "OH FUCK NO!" hung in the air. Konan giggled as she entered Deidara's room.

"NO! GET THE FUCK AWAY! UN!" he screamed. Deidara hated the pills he was forced to take. They where designed to suppress the artisans chakra. Pein opened Hidan's door and walked in.

_'Finally!'_ Hidan thought. Pein undid the binds on Hidan's body. Once free he immediately began making the bloody circle on the ground then started his ritual. While he did he noticed the TV. wheeled in to his room by Pein.

"ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME!", He yelled.

"Educational T.v. is a waste of money." Kikuyu said loudly, "No one really pays attention to it."

"Deal with it!" Konan snapped

"BITCH!" Azumi yelled out.

Pein sighed and walked out of the room. Leaving Hidan to his ritual. He pulled out all his pain inflicting devices he would need when a thought hit him: Pein always waited for Hidan to finish his ritual before dealing out punishments. So all he had to was keep his already annoyingly long ritual going for as long as he could! This way NO EDICATIONAL T.V.! hidan smirked at his own moment of genius.

*funny voice*-Two hours and thirty minutes later-

Hidan was halfway finished with his real ritual. He really couldn't help but scream at all the glorious pain! He got so caught up in it that he almost, almost, forgot his plan. Pein walked in to his room knowing that normally Hidan would be close to finishing but was surprised to see the Jashinist begging to gospels scream! It was weird as hell and kinda scared Pein.

There where sounds of choking followed by stifled laughter from everyone else as soon as the screaming started.

"The hell is that!", Azumi laughed

"I think it's Hidan, un.", Deidara answered.

"He's lost it!" Kisame boomed.

"He never really had it to begin with.", Zetsu said.

"Yo Zetsu! We almost forgot about you!" Kisame yelled, "Your always so damn quite!" Ze shark man laughed.

"I told you they would." The black Zetsu growled at the white half.

"No! **I** told you!" the white half snapped

"HI CONFILCTED PLANT MAN!" Azumi yelled out. Everyone could practically see the enormous sweat drop that formed on Zetsu's head.

Meanwhile Hidan's gospel screaming continued and Pein to even more freaked out as Hidan began doing the chicken dance on the ground. he was still impaled to the ground but the silver blond still managed to skillfully start the dance. Pein slowly backed out of the room, he didn't notice the smirk Hidan gave the human pin cushion. He finished the dance and began air guitar-ing to the song Welcome Home by Coheed and Cambria. The good thing about the song was it had a ridiculously long opening and one hell of an ending.

_'This shit could take a fucken while',_ he thought smirking. He started head banging to the song. This gave him a massive head ach but unsurprisingly didn't fuck up his slick back hair. He was enjoying the increased pain that came with every movement.

Pein on the other hand was growing impatient. Normally it took Hidan three hours to complete his ritual. He was going on his fifth hour!

_'Is today some sort of friken Jashin holiday?' _Pein thought angrily. Pein had told Konan to go ahead and beginning preparing lunch. He completely forgot about the "educational" t. v. punishment.

_'Fuck! This shit feels fucken fantastic!'_ Hidan thought. He was now going in to another song called Pain by Three Days Grace, '_Hell I'll be the fucken distraction everyday if it means this! Damn! I fucken praise you Jashin-sama!_', He intended to go for as long as he could.

"How long do you think he can go at it?" Sasori asked everyone. If it's for his Kami-sama," Kakuzu started, "for as long as his immortal life lets him."

"That's a long ass time, un!" Deidara exclaimed.

"No kidding.", Kisame added.

"CAN WE HAVE RAMEN FOR LUNCH!", Azumi blurted out in a very A.D.D. efficient way.

"NO DAMNIT!" Konan screeched back.

"WHY NOT!"

"BECAUSE!"

"BECAUSE WHY!"

"You. Are. A. PISS OFF! YOU KNOW THAT!"

"FUCK YOU!"

One of those "I'm annoyed" symbols began to form on Pein's left temple. Between Hidan and the bickering women Madara owed him a Weeks worth of ultimate sex!

Hidan began to do the Casper slid, much to Pein's annoyance while Konan prepared a counter verbal attack on Azumi.

"ENOUGH!" Pein's voice boomed though building. There was dead silence. Pein smirked.

"OH SHIT!", both Zetsu yelled out

'_Really!_', Pein's face deflated. Konan slinked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry Nagato-san." She said licking up his neck and biting down his earlobe. Pein let out a moan, "Let me make it up to you." she cooed fiddling with his nipple rings. The whole asylum remained quite, intently listening to the pair. They are so nosey.

"Of course.", Pein moaned again, louder this time when Konan bit down on the sensitive base of his neck.

"GET A ROOM!", Everyone yelled suddenly. The pair jumped at the noise. It pissed them all off that only those two got such pleasantries and no one else.

Pein walked over to Hidan's till open door. He walked in cautiously. He was still nervous of what strangeness he may be subjected to. Next. But he was greeted with the sight of the Jashinist packing away his "tools". The orange top man let out a small sigh and picked up Hidan's restrains. He was careful not to activate the device till they where securely on Hidan's limbs.

'_Mission motherfucken accomplished, bitch!_', Hidan thought smirking at the retreating back of Pein. The binds soon began to take affect. They dulled his nerve system and suppressed most of his chakra leaving only enough to eat, sleep, breath, and live. Though hardly any living was done in this place.

'_Wow! Fuck that was the best damn morning in a long fucken time! Arigato Jashin-sama!_'

"Wait . . .so what' for lunch today?" Azumi asked suddenly.

"Is that all you think about? Is food, un.", Deidara asked.

"No, I just want ramen."

"Of course." everyone droned.


	6. Chapter 6

i'm not all that happy with this chapter but eh it helps with meh over all plot^_^

The songs i used in here are Savin' Me and Rock Star by Nickelback

"Speaking"

_'Thoughts'_

_Memories/flashbacks/letters_

_**'Mental**** connection'**_

Enjoy and PLEASE read and review=]

* * *

Chapter 6

-Kakuzu's Lunch-

Pein gave up on the t. v. torment after that morning's events. This brought relief to the man of tentacles

'_T.v. is a waste of money._' Kakuzu thought in his gray room, _'Unless I profit from it.', _Kakuzu had the urge to tap his chin but he couldn't seeing as the chakra binds took so much of his chakra he was left to tired to move. Needless to say he found them annoying. But not NEARLY are irritating as not knowing how is many different investments where doing.

'_Madara-san better be keeping an eye on them!_', he frowned . The smell of beans and rice wafted under his door. He sighed and waited for the expected out burst form Azumi.

"THAT DOESN'T SMELL LIKE RAMEN!" she yelled right on cue.

'_I swear ! If she destroys ANYTHING else Gaara and all of Suna will be paying for the damage._', he was still pissed about the day before

"OF COURSE! WHO WOULD WASTE RAMEN ON YOU!", Konan sneered. Konan was about to go thorough her monthly visit. And Azumi was making her bitchier then normal. Which would ultimately cost Kakuzu more money.

'_Women are to expensive._', he thought. The two women continued to bitch at each other. The men of the asylum where slowly getting used to the fights.

"YOU HAVE BLUE FUCKEN HAIR!", Azumi yelled as a retort to something Konan had said. Kakuzu couldn't careless about their petty verbal fights. It was when Azumi started breaking things that he cared.

"Wait! ,un," Kakuzu heard the blond start, "Hidan do that screaming thing again!" he said before cracking up.

"SHUT THE HELL FUCKEN HELL UP WHORE!", Hidan yelled back. Kakuzu made a mental note to kill Deidara and turn him in for bounty money. He didn't LIKE Hidan but he didn't appreciate people insulting what was his either.

'_Better kill Sasori as well . . ._',

"Now dance, fucker, dance1 He never had a chance and no one even knew it was really only you. So dance, fucker, dance . . .", Kisame started singing randomly.

"I love that song!", Sasori called out.

"You people curse WAY to fucken much!", Zetsu said.

"BULLSHIT!", nearly everyone yelled back laughing. They so knew they cursed to much. And they where proud of it.

"I could profit from this.", Kakuzu mused out loud.

"How in fucken hell do that?" Hidan asked.

"Simple," Azumi started, "for every curse we say he earns money."

"Why is it that you explained that and not Kakuzu?" the white Zetsu asked.

"It's money ,un" Deidara said, "Your actually questing?"

"Touché.", the black Zetsu responded.

"So you're ganna take our fucken money for every damn curse we fucken say?" Hidan asked.

"That's the idea.", Kakuzu answered.

"Shit!"

"That's four dollars from you."

"Fuck you!"

"Five."

"DAMNIT!"

"Six!"

"Mother . . ."

"SHUT UP!" everyone cut off Hidan. As funny as it was to listen to the pair they all knew that if Hidan is broke if they ever got out he'd mooch off the rest of them. Non of them enjoyed that.

"Amazing! Even in the nut house he figures out how to make himself rich." Kisame grumbled.

"Did Pein and the bitch die?", Azumi asked out of the blue.

"NO!", Konan snapped.

"Why would you think we died?" Pein asked.

"Well you two just stopped talking. So I hoped Konan had died.", Azumi said matter-of-factly.

"Bitch!", Konan hissed.

"Point?", Azumi asked, "When is ramen time?"

"Never." Konan smirked. The sound of the stainless steal cart Konan used to push around food, pills, and other things sliced thorough Azumi's growls.

"One dollar from Konan and Azumi.", Kakuzu grunted.

"AH~HAHA SUCKER!", Azumi laughed not caring she lost a dollar too.

"NANI! YOUR CHARGING ME TO!", Konan screamed

"You curse as bad as Hidan at times. Naturally I'm going to charge you as well."

"PEIN!" she yelled. The sound of the cart stopped. Konan ran back to Pein, who was trying to slip way to his office.

'_So close!', _He thought with a sigh, "Kakuzu! You are not allowed to charge the wardens!" he said in an unenthusiastic voice. Konan giggled and kissed Pein. He moaned a bit in to it.

'_I should charge you for how often you fuck!_', Kakuzu thought, "Whatever." he said, '_Should kill them to._'

"Prison gates wont up for me . On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'," Deidara sang out.

"And oh I reach for you." Sasori joined in.

"Well I'm terrified of these four walls ,un"

"These iron bars can't hold my soul," Kisame also knew the song.

"And all I need is you." Sasori sang.

'_Hmm . . .If we get out of here we could go in to the music industry_' Kakuzu thought.

"Come please I'm callin'!" Azumi sang while thinking of how perverted the line was

"Oh I scream for you!" Sasori sang. Azumi felt a moment of awkwardness. Her line and Sasori's together where super perverted. She shuddered at a vision she had of her and Sasori. She didn't like it.

'_But the music industry is too finicky._' Kakuzu thought while everyone else kept singing.

"And all I need is you," Sasori sang.

"Come please I'm callin'," Azumi chimed

"And oh I scream for you."

"Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'." '_Heh heh echo._' Azumi laughed to herself.

"WE SHOULD SING ANOUTHER SONG!,UN", Deidara yelled out.

"I'm threw with standing in line to clubs I'll never get in. It's like the bottom of the ninth and I'm never ganna win.", Hidan started.

"What? Is today's theme Nickelback?" Pein asked.

"We all knew Hidan would pick **that **song." the black Zetsu remarked.

"At least I'm not a fucken conflicted plant! Bitch!" he snapped.

'_Two more for Hidan. I guess I wont have to worry to much about my money after all._' Kakuzu thought. Moments of pure silence passed.

Everyone slipped back in to their own thoughts. Konan made her rounds to dish out the "food".

"This is such a waste of money." he said as a Konan clone feed him. Having a women spoon feed him this way made him feel worse then shit.

'_Alright! I'm getting out of here! I can't make money rotting in here._' he grunted , '_Madara better be taking care of my money . . .Other wise I'm sure Konoha will pay a hefty bounty._' he smirked. All he thought about was ze money! And damn he was determined to get it!.


	7. Chapter 7

yes so this is chapter 7*does a funny dance* There are some Depeche Mode songs in here. I write these chapters at 1-2 in the moring with my ipod in my ears. what ever i'm listening to normally is in the story. Anyway . . .

"Speaking"

_'Thoughts'_

_Memories/flashbacks/letters_

_**'Mental**** connection'**_

Enjoy and PLEASE read and review=]

* * *

Chapter 7

-Gaara's Sundown Visit-

*Gaara's hotel suite, Elder City*

"OOH, lookin' like another bob Marley day. Hittin' from the bong like a diesel train. And I'm down, . . ." Gaara sighed who ever was next door to him was enjoying themselves. He concluded that there where approximately ten guys in the room. And they where all drunk. Wonderful. He was in no mood for loud noises, parties, or happiness of others . . . .well to put it simple he wished for Azumi to be here. 'Cause he had only two ways of getting to sleep. (Now that he could sleep) Sedation and sex. He always went for the latter. Who wouldn't.

Gaara rubbed his head, trying to alleviate the throbbing, and sitting in one of the white arm chairs of his hotel suite. Because he was Kazekage the elders so "kindly" booked him a room upon receiving the scroll that notified them of his visit. it was a perk and a pain in the ass. He figured they'd be expecting his visit-His girlfriend was locked up!-but did they have to show it so . . .so . . .Gaara couldn't think of a proper word to express his annoyance and disgust. He raised his head to see if there was thesaurus in the brown and white room. There wasn't.

He sighed again and got up wondering over to the rather large fully equipped kitchen.

_'How long do they think I'm fucken staying!'_, he glared at the blender, toaster, oven, and stove, _'I mean REALLY!' _He filled up a cup with ice water and opened another cabinet, pulled out some pain killers, and popped them two in his mouth. he walked over to the back wall which was a giant window that ran from the kitchen all the way to the closed off bedroom.(He had spent the whole afternoon exploring his current lodgings.)Gaara had to admit that the six year old city was still growing Strong and glimmering like new. This only irked him even more!

Those old folks, lead by Danzo, where running a huge ass city that seemed to out shine the Five Nations Hidden villages. There was practically NO crime rate, the city it's self was immaculate, it gleamed. Rulers where beginning to neglect their own Hidden villages. Gaara ground his teeth at the dim city lights that where spotting up in the dwindling sunlight. He glared at the sky scrappers and modern apartment buildings.

_'It's like tradition is dead here.' _he growled letting the ceramic cup he was drinking from moments ago slip thorough his slander fingers. The sound of it shattering made him feel the tiniest bit better. Then there was a knock at the door.

_'Fuck! Who could that be!'_, he tried not to snarl, composing his smooth face as he answered the door.

"Kazekage-sama?", a young dark haired boy clad in a brown messenger uniform asked bowing.

"Yes.", Gaara said eyeing the boy with suspicion.

"A message from the Lords and Ladies.", he said taking out a little green scroll. It had the elders seal on it. Gaara took the scroll and shut the door. He flared his nostrils at it then tossed it next to the other one he had yet to open. it had been waiting for him when he arrived that afternoon. Gaara paused to stare at them . . .okay glare at them then let out a frustrated yell.

"Shower first." he grumbled walking toward his room for his stay, while stripping away layer after of his Kazekage robes revealing his toned milky skin. he unpacked his towel and other toiletries. He refused to use anything provided by them. Gaara pushed open the white wooden door that linked his room to the bathroom. The bathroom was breath taking! It was huge with the toilet and urinal directly opposite of the door. The whole room was a deep tree bark brown. The wall tiles where rough stone. A drastic contrast from the smooth cool marble flooring. there was a large shower with a misted glass wall that served as the door. Gaara ignored the lovely bath house style tub that was in the room closer to the door.

He slide open the glass shower door and hung his towel on top of the door. he leaned in placing his soap, shampoo and conditioner on one of the many marble shelves. He flicked the water on to let it warm up. Then he ran back to his room to get his ipod and docking station. he didn't seem to be phased by the fact that he was wandering around his hotel room stark naked. Why? Because he had NOTHING to be ashamed of. Oh and he put a seal on each of the rooms. There was no way for anyone to get in with out him knowing. The air was cold against his skin and he couldn't wait to hop in the hot shower.

"EUREKA!", he yelled when he finally found his electronics. He slipped back in to the bathroom, breathing in deep the hot, humid air. Goose bumps spread across his body as it went from extreme ac cold to hot! He felt his nipples got erect from the temperature change.

"Awkward.", he said quickly truning on his music to the song Precious by Depeche Mode.

"Things get dent. Things get broken My God what have we done to you!" he sang along stepping in to the shower. He felt his muscles relax and a involuntary sigh of relief escaped his lips. He was tempted to lean up against the rough brown tiles. But he opted not to. He didn't know who else had used that shower before him. He ran his feet over the bronze flooring.

_'I've got to be cautious.', _he thought. He reached over for his desert flower scented soap.-Sounds grilie but smelled quite manly.- He knew why the elders where treating him so "nicely." Him being the Kazekage aside he could see them trying to butter him up to join the city. They had done it to many of the people who now lived in the city. He frowned. Gaara wasn't going to fall for it.

_'I will get Azumi back and protect the village!'_, he reached over to grab his shampoo and lathered it in to his thick red hair, _'Maybe I'll even help the others.'_

Through Azumi, Gaara had learned about the Akatsuki and the groups true goals. They weren't as bad as he originally saw them. He still didn't completely like them the "taking the one tail and leaving him for dead" thing was a turn off but he was slowly forming bonds. Kankuro, as expected, clicked with Sasori. But his brother was a tad edgy around them still.

Gaara let the soap run off his body. It felt so go! The song Clean by Depech Mode started to play.

"Clean. The cleanest I've been. An end to the tears and in between years of troubles I've seen." this song reminded him somewhat of himself. He shut off the water and began drying himself. He wrapped his burgundy towel around his slim waist, picked up his radio and walked to the door. he put his hand on the handle when he felt a familiar chakra enter his suite. Gaara's non existent brow frowned. He felt two more enter.

_'What? I can understand him but how do the other two know I'm here?', _he pushed open the door and quickly dressing in a russet kimono that had the Suna hour glass embroidered on the back. Then he proceeded to greet his guests.

"BROTHER! DATTABAYO!," was the first thing Gaara heard before being glomped by Naruto.

"It's good to see you as well, brother.", Gaara laughed and hugged the blond back. they stayed locked in each others arms. Neither wanting to let go but a quite

"Ahem.", shook them from the brotherly moment bringing them back. They broke apart and looked at the other guests.

"Utakata," Gaara nodded to the former six tails jinchuriki, "And you Yugito-san," he bowed to her. She smiled in return.

"It's like seeing a ghost party!", Naruto shuddered then laughed, "I'm glad Madara Uchiha was able to bring you two back.", Naruto had his stagnate happy-go-lucky smile on. But Gaara could see it wasn't all there. It didn't reach his eyes like it used to.

_'What's happened to you brother?'_, he sent him a worried look while Naruto wasn't looking, "Well sit down I'll prepare some tea." Gaara said walking over to the kitchen while the others got comfortable. Gaara pulled out the tea he had brought from home. He didn't want to risk the tea here being poisoned or some thing. Call him paranoid but he was being safe in his book.

"I assume Naruto told you I'd be here.", Gaara said carrying out a tray and setting it down. He picked up the two unopened scrolls and sighed.

"Actually we all meet up on the way here.", Yugito informed sipping the green ginger tea. Gaara looked at her confused.

"Yea, I was coming to see you Gaara, and saw Yugito-san outside the city gate.", Naruto said, "I told her about you and Azumi." Gaara looked at the blond woman.

"I am here to confront the council as well. Your village is not the only one that's being affected, Kazekage-san.", she said.

"I am here for the same basic reason," Utakata said, "But more for the Akatsuki. They gave me a new start, a new shot at life after removing the bijuu. They aren't evil.", he said.

"Utakata is staying on the floor just below yours Gaara. Yugito-san wanted to meet with you and we meet Utakata in the elevator on the way up.", Naruto smiled, "He wants to help you to, brother.", Gaara looked all three of them.

"Let us go with you tomorrow.", Naruto said softly, "Three voices is stronger then one." , Gaara remained quite. He wasn't sure what to say. He looked from one person to the other.

_'I knew Naruto would support me but i never thought these two would.', _he thought, "Uuuuh . . ." he opened his mouth but no words left it. Then a knock was heard from the door.

"Who could that be?", Gaara asked slightly annoyed. He took long strides over to the door and opened it. A blue and green bird with multiple piercing flew in the room and landed on the tea tray. Everyone stared at it.

_'What the fuck?',_ they all thought. It looked like a parrot.

_"HELP! PLEASE HELP!", _it suddenly yelled. Everyone stared at it in disbelief, _"HELP! PLEASE HELP! SHE'S CRAZY!", _it yelled again.

"THAT'S PEIN'S VOICE!", Naruto cracked up, "PEIN IS BEGGING FOR HELP! DATTABAYO!", he was rolling on the floor with tears in his eyes. Utakata was snorting quietly, trying his best not to do the same as the blond. Yugito, who had never heard Pein's voice or really knew him for that matter, blinked at the bird. Gaara on the other hand was grinning ear to ear with pride.

_'That's my Azumi for you.', _he thought. He felt bad for Pein. The guy wasn't that bad. A sex addict, yes, but he was a person Gaara could get along with. -On a few occasions he had given him advise on "late night activities" with Azumi.- Gaara grabbed a pencil and some paper then scribbled down a quick message. As soon as he attached it to the animal it disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"You girlfriends sounds . . .wild!", Yugito said once Gaara had sat down again.

"I guess you could say that.", he smirked taking on a dreamy look. Naruto finally calmed down enough to crawl back on to a chair next to Gaara. He put a hand on Gaara's knocking the red head out of his day dream.

"We'll get her back.", he said kindly. Gaara leaned over and hugged Naruto.

"Well this is mushy.", Utakata remarked.

"i must agree.". Yugito giggled a bit.

"Yeah, yeah.", Naruto laughed pulling out of the hug, "So, brother, tomorrow?", Naruto asked smiling. Gaara looked at Naruto's face then the others. They looked determined to win.

"Yeah, tomorrow.", Gaara nodded.

"So it's set then!", Yugito grinning like the cat she once was, "We fight for our villages and friends!"


	8. Chapter 8

So yeah . . .Chapter 8 and IT'S BEEN EDITED!woootz!Anyway yeah please enjoy.

"Speaking"

_'Thoughts'_

_Memories/flashbacks/letters_

_**'Mental**** connection'**_

Enjoy and PLEASE read and review=]

* * *

Chapter 8

-Uchiha Family twilight planning-

*Uchiha compound*

Sasuke paced back and forth inside his father's old study. Madara, Itachi, and Chi sat on the floor squished up to the coffee table between the couches. They where working on a plan.

"Sasuke sit! Your beginning to make us all dizzy," Chi said getting up. Sasuke paused mid step to glare at his sister then resumed pacing. She had to be kidding! Naruto had left for the Elder City that morning! He was far to anxious to sit! He was worried about the blond being so far from him.

_'Damnit! I've got to let him know I'm here!'_ he thought, biting his thumb nail. Chi walked past him letting in the sounds of the summer thunder and lighting storm in when she slid the door open. She stepped out on the soaked veranda into the rain. The pelting rain and strong winds caused the house to creak.

_'Maybe I could just wait for him at his apartment!'_ he thought_, 'Yeah . . .or I could contact Sakura!' _he tugged harder at his nail., _'But what if she get's pissed at me?' _He didn't care if he hurt Sakura's petty feelings. They meant nothing to him. No, what he was nervous about was her strength! He'd seen how insanely strong his former teammates had gotten. He REALLY didn't want her to beat him up the way she did Naruto even if he was to fast for her.

_'Okay, maybe not Sakura, but Kakashi-sensei might help!' _He snorted at the absurd idea. Sasuke stopped in the middle of the room. He had no way to reach the Uzumaki of his dreams. All those years of running, of training, being fucked by the perverted snake. All the years of repeatedly hurting Naruto. Sasuke wondered if Naruto would still accept him. He honestly wouldn't be surprised if he didn't. In Sasuke's mind, he thought Naruto deserved better. MUCH better.

Madara pulled his long hair back in a pony tail. He had been re-growing it since he cut it to be Tobi. He kinda missed his black mane. He sipped the vanilla chai tea Chi had prepared while glaring at the papers in front of him. Madara had been lucky, well rather cunning enough to get a full blue print of the Five Nation's Asylum. He had a pretty good plan in mind the only problem was. . .

"Huuuuuuhhhhh!" Sasuke's constant sighing was beginning to brother him. He glanced at Itachi, who was concentrating on the guard and staff files of the other asylum that shared the Akatsuki members' building.

'_Who puts two asylums on the same enclosed property?_' Madara thought, annoyed. Sasuke started humming the song I'd Come For You by Nickelback.

"Just one more moment that's all that's needed. Like wounded soldiers in need of healing." Yup. Sasuke and his angst.

"Out, Sasuke!" Madara ordered. The boy sat up with one headphone hanging from his head. Madara pointed to the door Chi had previously exited. Sasuke glared at his elder but hoisted himself from the floor.

"I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing." he growled/sang.

"Yeah, yeah why don't you go sing to your sister?" He waved his hand to the door opening a new folder of papers. Normally he'd be willing to comfort Sasuke, but at the moment he had some heavy weights resting on his broad shoulders. Normality seemed to have died seconds after it was invented. Madara flared his nostrils, breathing out. It was all going so well until a few years ago!

"Itachi," Madara turned his head away from the cream colored walls.

"Hn?" was the boy's answer, not looking up from the papers.

"I think it's time to reinstate our clan!" Madara said, looking at Itachi. The younger man froze.

"Come again?" Both disregarded how perverted that phrase was.

"As much as we hate it here, I think it is time to let all of Konoha," he paused, "all of the world know the Uchiha clan is back."

"Oh, yes, because us being in the Akatsuki didn't already do that," Itachi retorted flatly, going back to the papers. Madara frowned at the cold boy.

"Three things: one, how big is the log. Two, who put it up your ass and three, you **know** what I meant! It's time to bring new life to the clan." Itachi glared at Madara through the long lashes that put Cover Girls to shame.

"So basically your asking me to get my beloved wife," he continued to shift through papers, "pregnant?" He stopped to look Madara in the eyes. His face devoid of emotions. Rather he was trying to make it that way. But a trained eye would see pick up on the slight crease in Itachi's mouth around the edges. Or the micro dent under his right eye. Madara had said trained eyes and smirked.

"I thought you two wanted kids." He sipped his tea.

"Yes, we do," Itachi said coolly.

"Then what's the problem?" Madara asked, setting his cup down. Itachi strained to keep his sharingan deactivated.

"Chi is a woman. NOT a tool!"

"I know that. You two won't be young forever though," Madara said taking on a serious tone.

"Look at yourself." Itachi glared, "Ninety-four this year and you only look thirty-five!" Madara shrugged.

"Fine. I'll admit you and Chi may have sometime before old age. But I want grandchildren from the two of you!" He pouted slightly.

"We ARE your grandchildren!" he pointed out. Madara flicked his hand at the other ebony haired male.

"Whatever. Itachi, don't you dare let that beautiful woman go to waste!" he said solemnly. Itachi ground his teeth together and dug his nails in to his palms. His movements ceased altogether. Madara had just insulted him and his wife/sister. She was the most important person, next to Sasuke, he had and Madara had the balls to tell him to value her! He fought back a growl then got up. The room was drenched in silence. He walked over to the door and slid it open just as lightening split the sky. This made Itachi's "I'm-leaving-your-ass-in-pissed-off-silence-while-looking-sexy." bit all the more epic. Because his timing was just that good. Like all sexy dudes were.

"I'm going out," he said

"Itachi, if you don't do something soon. . .I will." Madara said in his baritone voice. Itachi's eyes widened. He was back in the Madara's in under a second.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Itachi growled quietly. His Sharingan was vibrant and spinning fast in his eyes. Madara grinned like a feline.

"You know exactly what I mean," he said. Itachi gripped Madara's yukata moving his other arm to punch the Madara who was equally prepared to counterattack. But both men found themselves unable to move suddenly. Now only two reasons where logical. Either there was a shadow possessions master near or Chi was using her blood jutsus.

'_**Damnit! I leave you to alone for a few minutes and come back to find you to trying to kill each other,**_' she said snapped in their heads.


	9. Karaoke Terrors

Herro there! Long time no post, ne? Well...this is a really old short story i finally got around to typing up.(Let me tell you i had a lot of changing to do. Wrote this in seventh grade_) My wonderful other half aka Azumi has oooh so graciously taken on the task of editing this grammticly so it shouldn't have mistakes. How this ties you guys over till my inspiration returns.

~Chi-chan

**_Bold Italics_-**Chi's mental blood jutsu connection

Enjoy and Review

* * *

Chi and Azumi emerged from the forest to enter to the clearing where one of the many Akatsuki lairs stood. The two girls where still laughing at the fact that they secretly watched team seven once again try to see their sensei's hidden face until they saw Tobi and Deidara arguing on their way to the hideout.

"NO TOBI I WON'T, UN!", Deidara yelled.

"BUT WHY NOOOOOT SENPAI!" The girls suppressed their laughter when they saw Tobi dancing around Deidara wildly.

"BECAUSE I'M NOT IN THE MOOD, UN!" To this, the girls cocked their eyebrows. Tobi looked at Deidara then moved to tackle him in a glomp but stopped when he saw the black haired girls snickering behind them.

"AZUMI-CHAN!" Tobi yelled now aiming his glomp at her.

"Oh God," she whispered under her breath before hitting the grass with Tobi's lollipop face in hers. Deidara choose this moment of distraction to slip inside. Chi rolled her eyes at the pair and kept walking on.

"Tobi get. . .the . . .hell . . .OFF!" Azumi yelled, pushing him off her and launching him right of Chi. She side stepped him causing her bangs to blow in to her face.

Itachi walked outside wanting to know why they now had a Tobi shaped whole in their wall. He figured it would be his sister and her best friend. He looked between the two girls when Chi spotted him.

"BROTHER!" she yelled, running over to him. He wrapped her in a tight hug.

"AWWW! LOOK EVERYONE!" Kisame laughed in his loud voice. Everyone in the Atasuki filed out of the hide out to see what he was yelling about. They all turned to look at the love birds.

"TOBI THINKS THEY SHOULD KISS!" He made kissing noises.

"Azumi thinks you should eat some candy," she said tossing him a bag of candy she and Chi had picked up in Suna then walked in to the building through the Tobi hole.

"You know you really should pay for that!" Kakuzu said. He was rather pissed off now. Azumi always managed to break some thing when the pair visited.

"We should do a lot of things but we don't," Azumi retorted plopping down on a black couch. She was now eating ice cream. The guys got used to her magically pulling sweets out from no where so it wasn't surprising to see. Everyone else piled back in to the hide out and gathered around to start the game they where about to play: Pair karaoke.

"Oi Bitchs! Would you like to fucking join the fucking game?" Hidan asked hovering over the machine to add their names.

"Why don't you wash your nasty ass mouth!" Chi snapped.

"FUCK NO! Do you want to play or not bitchs?" he said back. Chi got up from Itachi's lap to punch the Jashinist in the mouth but Itachi held her back.

"Yes, they will play," Itachi said in a calm voice. He didn't exactly like Hidan's cursing but it was Hidan what where they going to do about it?

"Um, but I can't sing," Azumi said now hanging from the ceiling.

"That's why we paired you with Tobi," Pein laughed.

"Grrr!" Azumi glared wishing so bad Chi hadn't promised her ramen if she didn't light any one on fire for a week.

"Okay here are the groups," Kisame announced, "Pein and Konan."

"Of course," Azumi and Chi droned not surprised. Pein and Konan never did anything with out each other. ANYTHING!

"Slut," Azumi stage whispered as Konan swayed over to orange top man.

"Then there is Tobi and Azumi, Kakuzu and Hidan, Me and Zetsu, Deidara and Sasori . ." Kisame was interrupted again by Chi.

"WAIT!" she yelled

"What now?" he sighed heavily.

"Sasori-kun is six feet under. How can he play?" she asked

"They brought me back." Sasori answered from behind the couch. He was making out with Deidara.

"May I finish now damnit!" Kisame snapped, clutching the list of pairs. There was silence for a few moments. Everyone glanced at each other waiting for some one to speak. No one did so Kisame took this as a yes but just when he opened his mouth Azumi and Chi blurted out

"YES YOU MAY!" everyone busted out laughing. Deidara high-fived Azumi.

"Nice, un." the blue man glared at the two girls.

"The last pair is Itachi and Chi," he rushed out before he could be cut off again then stepped away from the small platform that each pair would sing from.

"Rules are: you sing what ever song comes up with your partner and who even sings the best gets what ever the hell they want for a week." Sasori explained. Everyone nodded in agreement then the game began. Each pair dropped their names in to a hat that Deidara was holding.

"Mmkay TIME TO PICK THE FIRST PAIR!UN!" Dediara yelled shuffling up the slips of paper and pulling out one. He handed it to Sasori to read out aloud.

"First up is Kisame and Zetsu." the yin and yang plant man and Kisame walked up to the small stage. Kisame bent down and press the button to get their song. Both men where dreading what song they would get.

_'Please don't be something stupid.'_ Kisame thought.

"Don't mess this up!", Zetsu hissed at Kisame. Kisame grunted at him.

"Same to you.", he whispered.

"So what did yall get, Mr. Fishy Dude?", Chi asked. Kisame felt a sweat drop form on his head when they saw the song.

Azumi smirked and jumped up. She had an idea and this scared several of the guys in the room. She ran out of the room returning with a quite a few bottles of sake.

"We should play this game DRUNK!" Azumi held the bottles. Everyone but Kakuzu cheered in agreement. Bottles of sake where quickly passed around to everyone.

"So what song did you guys get ,un?" Deidara asked seeing the very reluctant expressions of Zetsu and Kisame. Everyone smirked at them.

"This should be good." Sasori laughed and the song began. Kisame went first.

"Well okay but just so you know . . .if you where gay that'd be okay. I mean cause Hey! I'd like you anyway." the whole room filled with tears of laughter. The smell of sake was everywhere. It was late evening, the sun was going setting deep in the sky now, and most of the Atatsuki was drunk as hell.

"Heeeeeeeey guuuuuyzzzzz! Let meh and Toobih go next!", Azumi called drunkly from the stage.

"She can't hold her liquor can she?" Itachi asked Chi looking down at his sister.

"She drank over one hundred bottles 'Tachi. Sake is only five percent alcohol.", she responded, "Plus I spiked the sake with vodka and whiskey."

"This explains so much." he said smirking at the other drunken members, "Baby I'm ganna go pick up some more sake okay." he said kissing her on the head and leaving the room. Chi sighed. Her family never got drunk . . .ever. It seemed to be a Uchiha genetic thing.

"Suuuuuuure fucking go for it!" Hidan called out hanging on to Kakuzu for support.

_'Wow. . .where's my video camera!',_ Chi thought. Tobi stumbled on to the stage. Chi knew he was faking it. Tobi start to sing first.

"I'll pile on the candy. It's such a pretty sight. It makes the food taste dandy.", everyone watched wide eyed when Tobi pulled out a huge bowl of candy.

"WHERE'D YOU GET THAT,UN! Deidara yelled out.

"But my tummy hurts all night." Azumi continued the song. By the time they reached the part: "It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake. It the way is hazy" actually pieces of cake was being passed around. Chi rolled her eyes at all of them and assumed her mother figure she took up when ever they got this way. Deidara and Sasori started to eat the same cake. Chi giggled at them and ran out of the room to fetch her video camera from Itachi's room. She heard Tobi and Azumi's song end.

"Peiiiiiin, Konnnnan! Yoooouuuu're up!", Kisame's words where slurred. They had crawled to the corner of the room to do a little sometin sometin.

"Heeeey ssssssluuuut!", Azumi yelled she was hanging from the ceiling again eating cake. Chi walked back in the room and tossed them on the stage forcefully.

"Awww wha zu du zat fuuur", Konan pouted aiming for Pein's lips in a sloppy kiss. Chi hit the button on her camera and smirked. She was never going to let them live any of this down. She pressed the button on the machine for Konan and Pein's song. The song started and Chi fell over laughing cause the song that started to play was Following the Leader from Peter Pan. Konan marched behind Pein full of lust for the man while singing the song. Off in the corner near the pool table that was in the room Hidan and Kakuzu whistled along and began matching in place often taking swigs of sake.

"Nope, NEVER going to let them forget this.", Chi laughed then heard Azumi yell

"CHI GUESS WHAT! I'M DRIVING THE PORCILIAN BUS!", from the bathroom. Chi shook her head laughing at how proud Azumi sounded of this then ran off to tie back her friends hair in the bathroom. She went to the kitchen and got Azumi and glass of water.

"Good thing Gaara isn't here.", she said to herself, "we have enough fuck-o-holics for one house.", yup every single person in the house her and Azumi love the stuff! Such dirty shinobi tsk, tsk. She left the glass and Azumi on the floor of the bathroom and returned to the room everyone one else was in. Tobi smirked at her when she entered the room. She noticed his mask was off and his hair was down.

"Well hello there Madara-ojiisan.", Chi said quickly pushing Sasori and Deidara up on the stage. They looked so cute all drunked up! Deidara started singing a song and pinned Sasori to the wall.

"Coin operated boy. He is just a toy, but turn him on and he comes to life. Automatic joy! That is why I want a coin operated boy.", Deidara started making Sasori feel like he was on cloud nine.

"Hey sing!", Madara laughed sexily from the back of the room. Chi stood next to him holding the video camera. She absentmindedly waved her hand at him not taking her eyes off Sasori and Deidara.

"No, no leave them be.", she whispered to her elder. Madara just laughed. But the blond started to sing again anyway.

"And if I had a star to wish on, for my life I can't imagine any flesh and blood could be his match. . .", Deidara went back to pleasuring his partner making his mouths work in a very different way. It was very artful At least to Azumi, Chi, and Sasori it was. Chi looked around noticing Madara was no longer at her side. She found him completely sober and NOT HELPING in anyway with the other drunk members of the Akatsuki. No he was in the corner of the room eating another piece of cake.

'_**Haul your lazy ass up and get these two a room!**_', she ordered him through mental connection. Madara cocked his eyebrow and a smirk appeared on his sexy face.

'_**Okay Uchiha-Okasan.**_', he mocked back in her head. She glared at him while he did as he was told. She turned to Hidan ,who was once again ranting about Lord Jashin. Kakuzu was sitting with a note book diligently writing down what ever the younger man said. Chi rolled her eyes at them.

"Okay you two; it's your turn." She maneuvered them up on to the stage and hit the button for a song. Bad Romance blasted from the speakers.

"Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!" Kakuzu started

"Ruhma-ruhma- ma-maa!" Hidan continued.

"I want you disease " It was suppose to go but all Chi heard from Kakuzu was "I want blah I want your La la la la la la blah blah blah." Hidan answered with pretty much that same thing. Itachi opened the door to the lair, arms full of sake. He'd been gone for three hours just trying to find a proper shop. When he entered the room everyone was in he found Chi turning purple from laughing. He looked up at the stage to see why. Hidan and Kakuzu where grinding each other almost naked while "singing" the French part of the song.

"OH KAMI MAKE IT STOP!" Chi called out feeling like she'd broken a rib or two from laughing. Itachi ran to the kitchen placing the bottles of liquor down as genteelly as he could before collapsing over the granite counter cracking up.

Madara walked back in to the room where Chi was, five minutes after the song was finished to see the money man and his partner still going at it. He kicked them off the stage and helped the younger Uchiha off the floor.

"Wow now I'm lightheaded." Chi said blinking then shaking her head. Wasn't such a safe idea. She grabbed on to Madara's outstretched arm for support. Chi felt sleepy from the dizziness but next thing she knew Madara had hit the stereo. The song Telephone by Lady Gaga started to play. Madara smirked, challenging Chi to dance. She glared and gave a tight smile then turned off the song.

"No." he sighed at her response. He decided to take a different approach. He clicked the stereo again. This time the song Itachi and Chi called theirs. He stalked up to her smirking the way he was so fond of. Chi glared harder suppressing her Sharingan.

"One, two, three, a tragedy that's built on destiny. It left you with everything , but blood from the knife." Chi backed in the wall.

"DINO- DRAGON!" Azumi yelled out at random.

-In the Kitchen-

Itachi heard the song playing from the room. He rushed out of the kitchen, down the hall and burst in to the room. It scared him how quite everyone was… especially since they were all drunk. Everyone was watching the stage waiting for something to happen. Well everyone but Azumi. She was making her toy dinosaur breath fire.

"Heh wonder if sake will make a bigger fire." she grabbed a bottle of it. Itachi took it away before she could burn down the whole hide out. The turned his attention back to the stage. Madara was to close to Chi for his liking. As her brother and her husband. So he sung the next line.

"That I cut you heart out with," he walked on to the stage getting between his wife and elder, "Now relax close your eyes." he sang to Chi. Madara backed away with his hands up in surrender and sat down on the couch. Itachi turner to Chi and smirked.

"What comes next is the surprise." Chi sung back brushing her lips over his.

"This valentine is doomed. The smell of blood fills this room. If I could do it all again." Itachi picked up right where his sister left off.

"I would change most every single thing." Azumi walked back in the room and sat down now more sober.

"Hey Madara." She said sitting next to him.

"Hello there singing partner." Madara responded. Azumi looked up at the stage

"Wow wish I could remember how I sang." she said

"No you don't." he chuckled. Azumi shrugged. Everyone but the four of them had crashed in various places. Itachi and Chi where waaay to in to the moment to care.

"I would let you" Itachi kept singing Chi chimed in

"Kiss me, kill me. Your kiss is torture but killing me would be to easy."

"Yeah so they won." Azumi said to Madara while playing with her dragon.

-Next Morning…more like later in the morning-

While everyone was still getting over their hangovers at breakfast they watched the video of last night. Tobi and Azumi felt very accomplished with themselves. Deidara and Sasori didn't even show up to for breakfast. Hidan left the room screaming to Lord Jashin for forgiveness. Kakuzu just fell to the floor. Kisame and Zetsu shuddered at their performance. They couldn't even look at each other. Konan and Pein where to in to their snogging to care about their turn. Finally Itachi and Chi's part came up. Everyone wanted to know see how epically the two ,aloft perfectly alike, Uchihas had failed. Boy were they hated for winning.

Itachi grinned widely at Chi and picked her up bridle style.

"I'm going to enjoy this week." Chi giggled. The disappeared in Itachi's room for the remainder of the week.


End file.
